APPLICANT: I Will Find You

To whom it may concern,

I am a hard and dedicated worker an I thrive in even the harshest of conditions. I don’t take no for an answer and I never back down. I am proficient with over 200 forms of weaponry and 5 styles of unarmed combat.
I don’t think I am perfect for the position you currently have open, I know it.

You have 3 standard days to reply with positive confirmation or I will find you and I will take my job from your cold dead hands.

Warmly yours,
XXXXXX XXXXXX

ATTACHED RESUME

Objective
To obtain the perfect headshot everytime


Abilities
8 years of ‘customer service’
Excellent written and verbal communication skills, with an eye for detail
Extremely productive in a high volume, high stress, environment
Self starter with a can do attitude

Interests/Hobbies
Armaments
Athletics
Programming
Explosives
Killing
Maiming
Freestyle Knitting

Employment History
1999 – Current – Casual Hitman
For the past decade I have been in and out of contracts constantly with a kill total now ranking around the 93 area. I have never missed a mark and my employers are always pleased with my work, often providing bonuses for a “job well done”.

1997-1999 – McDonalds – Counter hand